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The Airport Bar
by Becky Brett
Submitted: Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Part 1: Your Tab
When visiting the airport bar before your flight, do not keep your tab open. You don’t know how busy your bartender will get, and suddenly they’re calling your flight to board, while your credit card is sitting up at the register with five others waiting to be swiped for your $6 beer. Yikes!
Part 2: Your Surroundings
The airport bar is just like your neighborhood bar—big screen TVs, a busy bartender and at least one guy you really wish hadn’t sat down next to you. On a recent trip, I was sitting at the airport bar, when a “regular” pulled up the stool next to mine with great flourish. After a series of “sweeties” and “honeys” and an exchange of barely understandable banter, he pulled out some airport store purchases to show the bartender, including a stuffed coyote.
I’m pretty sure he’d been hitting every bar in the airport since missing his flight that morning and was either drunk or slightly brain-damaged for some other reason. Which brings me to Part 3…
Part 3: Your Own Damn Fault
If you do strike up a conversation with the weird guy sitting next to you, you are completely to blame for whatever happens next. I decided to chat up Fluffy Coyote Guy and find out what makes him so weird. The guy seemed to have a normal enough job, normal enough plans, and no obvious physical deformities. Therefore, I can only assume that he got tipsy at the airport, drunkenly missed his first flight, and misguidedly spent the intervening time bar-hopping throughout the concourse.
Unfortunately for me, his inebriated state and our conversation’s rambling nature meant I was almost late boarding—thereby almost dooming me to his same fate. Fortunately I spotted my traveling companions at the end of the bar and was able to extract myself before friendly chat turned into anything worse. Lesson learned!
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